I tell myself that I don't want to get married for a long time. I have plans: graduate, go on a mission, go to grad/medical school, and then live in China working and having a lovely, carefree life. Getting married would either derail this marvelous plan, or make it a lot harder than it needs to be.
Dating, however, is completely different. For the past while, I've been consoling myself with the fact that dating-->marriage, and therefore I don't really need to worry about either at this point in time. It remains, however, that I'm not okay with the fact that I haven't been asked on a date (that actually happened) since... May. I've been asked for my phone number all of once (?) but that's not looking as though it'll take a romantic turn anytime soon.
I make excuses for myself. I have a job, I say. I'm busy, I say. It's not that I'm against asking guys out; I just believe that whoever does the asking should pay and I don't have much money to devote to paying for dates at the moment.
I'm now officially the spinster of my apartment.
Realizations like this always make me wonder. What's wrong with me? Why don't I get asked out? Am I atrociously ugly? Is there some glaring personality flaw that makes me undateable? Or maybe everyone who's told me I'm not socially awkward has been lying and I'm exactly as inept in social situations as I think I am.
(Disclaimer: I don't think I'm ugly. I find myself quite attractive, in fact. But the fact is, my roommate who spends hours every day curling her hair and applying copious amounts of makeup gets asked out multiple times each weekend. Coincidence? However. On principle, I refuse to start wearing more makeup in an attempt to get asked out. I have hope that there are men in this world that aren't shallow.)
Maybe I'm just too deeply entrenched in the friend zone. You know it's bad when all your guy friends ask you for girl advice... "because that's what friends do." Or they end conversations with things like "you're such a great friend." Not that I don't like having friends, but sometimes the word "friend" is just like hydrochloric acid on my delicate heart.
Dear readers, can you explain what's wrong with me? I can't fix it until I know what it is.
And yes, I am on my period right now. All I want is chocolate and Midol... if anyone brought me either, they'd automatically achieve best friend forever status.
Good things about not dating:
-no drama
-I avoid that awkward getting to know you thing "So... where are you from? What's your major? Where do you live? What do you do for fun?" and the eventual "You're 17??" freakout.
-more time to devote to watching Korean dra--I mean, homework. And blogging.
-no heartbreaks.
-explanations of my age, feminism, and quirks are unnecessary.
-I can pride myself in not being a "typical" BYU student and being engaged after 2 months
Other things I'm thankful for:
--Dr. Who. Specifically, David Tennant.
--Lee Minho
--My wonderful RA who brought me cookies
--My roommates
--The Gospel
--Vacuums
--Drugs
--Footie pajamas
--Skype
And now this post must come to an end. I have a research paper due tomorrow that I should probably start. Yeah.
Bonne nuit.
Writing helps me think. It allows me to keep track of and develop thoughts I have, so here's some of my random musings on life, the universe, and everything. This blog, along with my journal, keeps me sane. I hope it helps you in some way!
okay i will bite on this one two, and although i am not the best (in fact i almost for certainty the worst) to talk out this i think i still have useful comments,
ReplyDelete1. the use of makeup is not particularly attractive, what is attractive is the inherent time that was spent applying that make up to look good, that is what is draws attention toward makeup
2. men are shallow and not shallow, personality is still paramount but any man who tells you that looks don't matter is lying, looks is what initiates the relationship personality is what continues it,
3. Be proactive, it is much easier to ask someone out when the girl asked you for your phone number and then started talking to you, even if you still are not the ones taking them on dates (thank you for that stance by the way it was nice to find someone who recognizes the hypocrisy) even if that pro activity includes nothing other than sitting next to a guy in class and talking before it starts,
While not exactly qualified in this subject i hope the above comments help