Thursday, December 15, 2011

It's 3:30 in the morning right now. I just finished mopping my kitchen and bathroom. I'm slightly addicted to the smell of PineSol. I'm writing because I'm waiting for the floors to dry so I can move stuff back in and continue cleaning. Okay, I might have a slight problem here. But my Econ professor told us that positive externalities are underproduced...

I was watching Glee earlier (I finished my latest Korean drama, City Hunter (which you should watch if you ever have time. It has action, awesome plot twists, cute things, and Lee Minho. Nuff said.), and had nothing better to do. I'm done with finals. Don't judge.) and realized something.

I miss performing.

There are so many reasons that I've stopped. I'm not good enough to do anything on a college performance level. Not piano, not violin, and definitely not singing. I don't have time anymore. Between school and work, I have my hands full. I'm not needed in any group, and I lack confidence to try and find a venue to perform myself.

So many reasons, and yet I feel like this is what my life has been lacking. After a few different tests this week, I went down to the piano lab and just played for a couple of hours. My skills have definitely declined, but walking out I felt so ridiculously happy and at peace. It was freezing cold and grey and wet outside, yet I couldn't help but smile. It was as though I'd been reunited with an old friend for a few glorious moments.

I should find something to do with performing. Something that will help other people.

My floors are dry now. Peace and blessings, y'all.

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